


There is no heaven without you

by Bellatrix_Winchester (Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen)



Series: Sastiel through my eyes [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Established Castiel/Sam Winchester, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Happy Ending, Love, M/M, Mild Angst, Minor Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Romance, SPN Fluff Bingo 2019, Sam Winchester Fluff, Samstiel - Freeform, Sastiel - Freeform, Sastiel Creations Challenge, Sastiel Love Week, protective castie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 15:11:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18368579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keterina_Porpentina_Albus_Everdeen/pseuds/Bellatrix_Winchester
Summary: Castiel worries about Sam and Dean; especially the love of his immortal life, Sam.Just fluff with little plot.





	There is no heaven without you

**Author's Note:**

> Tolerate the first paragraph, from the break line, I'll get into the Sastiel plot.

Castiel was sitting in front of a park on a bench, watching humanity. It always moves him how much love they are capable of showing, yet most of the times, they choose to hide the feelings they feel. 

Cas knows that Dean loves Lisa and Ben dearly, so he goes back to meet them whenever he can, even though they don't remember Dean.

He himself misses Samandriel, Anna and his other friends. Angels never fail to show loyalty or love towards each other. However Cas has noticed that humans don't react well to open confession of love. 

He once tried to tell the Dean and Sam what they mean to Cas, but they seemed uncomfortable in his declaration of affection. So he hid his emotions, learning from humanity, and he convinced himself to not get attached to these mortal beings.

After all, Castiel is immortal. After fifty or sixty years, he will lose Sam and Dean to death, then it will be an eternity alone unless he makes other friends. 

* * *

Sam comes back from a hunt that he went on to clear his head. Dean was drawing himself in pain, so Sam told him to go visit Lisa for a few days.

Sam comes home to see Cas sitting on the bed, with two glasses of banana smoothies in his hands. Sam smiles and takes one of them. They drink in silence.

After finishing the drink, Sam goes straight for a tight hug.

Castiel smiles and loses himself in Sam's tall and huge chest. The sound of Sam's heart makes Cas feel really good, he relaxes instantly. All the worries washing away, he falls right into Sam's embrace, letting himself feel the love that Sam always radiates.

Sam pulls away to look at Cas, towering over Castiel, he smiles and touches his jaw. Cas smiles back, but the pain in his eyes was clear.

"What is it?" Sam asks, concerned.

Castiel looks down, "I'm not strong enough to get us all out of this mess Sam. And I can't lose any of you. I don't have the strength to lose you again."

Sam looked confused, "You never lost me Cas. I'm right here."

Cas gives him a small smile and puts one hand on Sam's chest, right where his heart is, "I did. Once when you jumped right into Lucifer's cage, then again when you told me that you don't care about me..."

Sam looks so sorry, " I was soulless, you know I always care, I have always loved you..."

Cas nods, "Yes, that was my fault. After you were soulless, you broke the wall in your mind, I saw you getting shattered everyday. There wasn't a day that I didn't hope for you to get better, but you only got worse."

Sam sits down and strikes Castiel's hand. They hold hands and just look into each other's eyes.

Cas continues, "I know you don't like to talk about your feelings always, but you need to know Sam, I will lose myself when you and Dean eventually die. I am immortal, and I'm not strong enough to lift you up if you..."

" If we end up in hell, yeah, I know." Sam winces.

" I'm sorry my love, you know that I believe your soul to be pure. You are beautiful, pure and you deserve your own heaven. But what if I'm stuck on Earth and I can't be with you?" Castiel starts sobbing silently.

Sam holds Cas as he sobs against Sam's shoulders, burying his face in his chest.

"Oh you're so innocent." Sam muses and kisses Cas's cheeks.

"If I am pure, then you are golden. There isn't a limit to your sweetness Cas." Sam assures Cas.

Cas doesn't look up, " I'm scared to be lonely, I can't lose you. And I know I will, I'm so lost Sammy."

Taking Castiel's face in his palm and cupping his cheeks, Sam forces him to look right into his eyes, "You won't lose us even in death, because there is no heaven without you."

Cas wipes his tears and blinks at Sam.

Sam adoringly chuckles, "You and I will share a heaven, I know it. Because you are my heaven, my guiding star, if you're a fallen angel, then someday I will be strong enough to lift both of us. I promise."

Cas smiles now, " If there is anyone loving enough to be able to do that, it will be you. My Sam."

Sam takes Castiel's hands, keeps them steady on his own and presses his lips gently on to Cas's lips.

 

 


End file.
